Press option 1 to read, option 2 too keep reading.....

Sometimes is tiring to always be ranting and complaining about things, its not normally in my nature to complain.

But some things really wind me up the wrong way, do you not find it funny when someone is trying to sell you something, you seem to have no problem getting through to them on the phone. Its almost like they have a direct line to new business (we did when i worked at Scottish gas, we had to answer in 3 rings).

Now comes the peach you have thought of something else to ask, your account is now setup so you think to yourself, a quick call and i can speak to Bob ( real name, callmeneveronyournella ), problem is Bob is not in that department.
So here it all starts you get passed to a online phone system, first it asks for all your account details which of course it cant find, then you get presented with, well let me run it down for you:

Dial in:
First set of options
1. To speak to sales
2. To speak to someone to upgrade account.
3. Change personal details.
4. anything else

So i press option 4

Next set of options

1. Billing issues
2. To leave us ( will be soon )
3. To advise us of a service issue
4. Anything else

So i press option 1

Next task needing performed

1. Key in account number ( which it never finds )
2. Key 1st and 3rd letters of password ( which it never recognizes )
3. Say yes if it is a current bill
4. Say yes if if you would like to pay a bill

Anyway i could go on forever trust me, this is about half of what i had to do when calling a particular airport, that may or may not of been mentioned in a previous blog.

So after you do all this p**h, you then get asked by a human robot, i know that sounds like a bit of a contradiction in terms, but by that i mean they are human but are so restricted by what they can say, if you deviate from the script they are working from, i am sure they will explode.

Finally you get to discuss what you want, only to be told something completely different from the chap who sold you the product or service, when you tell them this you get the well the calls are recorded and you are in a 12 month contract, so you cant do anything about.

Whoever devised this push button 1 for this and push button 2 for this, system, needs to be taken out to the nearest field, strung up and shot. In fact i would give him the option:

Option 1: Shot in the feet
Option 2 : Shot in the knees
Options 3: Shot in the elbow
Options 4: Shot in the butt cheek
Option 5: none of the above ( but equally as painful )

So if your out there push button man or woman ( lets be pc ) watch out.

Ok i am ready for a fight now, might phone Scottish gas just to annoy their robots.

Do your job and smile!

I've been fortunate enough to travel the world a bit, now i am not trying to show off and say i have been every where, i haven't, but i have been to France, New Zealand, Spain, Sri Lanka, Dominican republic and Inverness (I class this in the same league, almost) just this last week.

One thing i have noticed is the different level of service i have received from various companies and people, whether that be, Mcdonalds staff or banking staff to coffee shops (as a side point New Zealand came out on top for me).

My view is always the same, you are paid to do a job, the people i.e customers (me) expect a decent level of service and a smile, i don't want to feel guilty about coming in and asking for help, or to draw out MY money.

Something that prompted this rant today was during a visit to Bruar House, which is a totally amazing place by the way, you really should visit, it is a little over priced in the shop but the walk up the falls at the back is stunning, i will attach a few photos so you can see what i mean.

Yikes i cant wait

Anyway back to my rant, so during my visit to Bruar house, first things first quick toilet stop, well not that quick, four people waiting, god damn, then food, elbow fight to get anything, the queues for anything in this place are massive.

Now the majority of the staff are pretty good most of the time, they smile (good they are paid too), but the last twice i have been which happens to be in the last week, the same girl has been serving on the first till.

I am sure her name was something like Lucy but so as not to embarrass her if she ends up reading this we will call her, Stroppy cow, so her rather straight forward task is to pour you your instant coffee and then bill you for anything else that is on your tray, i am not sure if she is paid per customer, but this girl is like Usain Bolt of Bruar house, she serves, charges, she moves onto the next customer, now at this point i  am just lifting my fingers to hit the keypad with my 4 digit pin which is ....(dont think so).

Her face is like stone the whole time, i will be honest i reckon if you touched her face, she may just crumble before your very eyes, the chap she was serving in front of me, which in all fairness was a bit slow, kept getting the evil's from her, and "enter your pin now" barked at him, then " you waited to long, we will need to do that again, hmff", this went on three times before it was my turn for the ice queen.

I thought i will try a new tactic and win her over with my devilishly good looks, and witty charm, it was just a shame i forgot about the massive spot on the side of my nose, i am sure she noticed it because as soon as she finished, she had called for a cleaner to isle 3 for puss deposits (ok the last bit was artistic licence, but i do have devilishly good looks).

Now i was not wanting a full on coversation with girl, but i wouldnt of minded as she was a bit of a looker, but a smile would of been nice.
I paid £15.00 for a tuna sandwich, coffee, coke and bit of cake (boy was is good), surely my £15.00 entitled me to a smile at least, i was not asking for her number or a snog (but if it was on offer, i wouldn't of said no).

We all have hard lives, but the way i look at it is when you go to work you can leave it all at home, do your best earn your money and you know what, you might get to see me and my chiseled cheekbones over the other side of the counter.

Anyway as promised here are some photos from the Bruar house and the falls of Bruar, if you want more information on this place just drop me a message.

Bloody drivers

Now don't jump on the what is sure to be massive bandwagon, but this is NOT a rant about women drivers, however if the cap fits.........

You see the way i look at things is that if there is a button or lever, or something in your car it is there for a reason and generally needs to be used, also if you use it do so for the proper reason.

What really gets on my goat is when some moron decides to pull out in front of you, of course you are expected to be telepathic and know that they wanted to turn, if i didn't care about the car i was in, I swear i mow the swine's down, I would put my foot down, pop my head between my knees and say kiss my ass.

The other really annoying thing is when someone ( as they did today ) is signal, great start so far you found the lever, then decide not to turn or take forever to turn, seriously with cars today and power steering how hard is it to turn the wheel, you have decided to turn and you have warned me, so i slow down holding up the traffic to let them in, they do a, to me, to you, to me, to you game, make up your bloody mind and turn, I am about to go totally of the reservation, bloody turn, today!

See its not that difficult!

Perhaps I am being to harsh though, I just think that road safety is important, in fact I think after the age of 60 everyone should  be tested again every 2 years at their own expense.

I don't want to be sharing the road with lunnies, old dears you know the type struggle to see over the dashboard, the ones that only look forward because if the look to the side or behind them they will have forgotten why they are there and probably crash.

Not to sound to cruel or anything but if they don't continue to pass their test every 2 years, then remove their licence, they get a free bus pass anyway why do they need a car, its better for them to keep active, what else can they do anyway, drool!

Yikes i am going get in trouble from my folks on this one.

So if your a driver on the roads be considerate, signal and turn, not signal wait, wait, wait some more then turn, bloody turn.

See you on the A9

Easy Jet has sold its soul

I have not had a proper rant for a while, and its not like i look for something to rant about, but i must say i was pretty pee'd of on a flight up to Edinburgh from Stansted the other day.

Let me set the scene: arrive at Stansted in decent time despite missing my first bus to get there from Leigh on sea, was the last plane so it was fairly quiet in going through security which is always good, as i cant stand the security checkpoint.
Not the aspect of security mind you but rather that we are all herded in like sheep, and made to weave in and out of endless line just to slow us all down.

So through security to be immediately presented with a barrage of sales staff, i don't even have the choice to walk around the shop, you have to walk through the shops selling whisky, cigarettes etc.

Negotiated the shops only stopping to buy a paper and some overpriced water, next hurdle was to wait for the monitor to tell me to head to my gate where i would have a 30 minute wait before boarding, not this time, board at gate 84 pops up on the screen, so as a obedient sheep i head to gate 84 (baa baa), as i get closer i notice a line, which reminded me of a queue at a local supermarket, near a bolema recovery centre, offering free sick bags with every purchase of a bar of chocolate.

On the plasma screen was a message saying final boarding call for gate 84 and 85, i look down the queue and see that there is no staff to be seen, so i am not sure how they expect us to board without anyone to confirm our identity.

Ok manage to get on the plane and finally to a seat, and somehow managed to get my bag directly above me despite being the last one on the plane, and as a wee side point sitting just behind and opposite a pretty fit bird so at least i would have decent view for the flight.

First things first safety briefing, we have all sat for this before and no one really pays attention, and lets be honest if the plane goes down your dead end off, so we have a rather dull safety briefing and i reckon we must of had the two oldest air stewards on the planet, one got slightly rattled when some young girls started talking a bit to loud for her so she stopped the briefing and approached them, and asked them to suspend their conversation for the time being, slightly over the top for me i thought.

Right thats over, so now i can sit back and try not to think how many ways the plane can blow up, no chance, after the take off first things first, a announcement, would you like to buy a paper or magazine £1 and £2 respectively, we will be coming through the cabin shortly, ok not to bad so far.
Now before she has got the end of the cabin another announcement, we will be coming through the cabin with a selection of sweets, crisps, sandwiches and tea's, coffees all for purchase, we can take, visa, american express, and cash right fair enough you gotta eat even though it is only a 45minute flight.

So food trolley heading though cabin, which seemed to run out of sandwiches after the first 3 rows of seats, as they take trolley back another announcement, we will calling through the cabin to take your orders, for any of our inflight offers, perfume, toys and gadgets as can be found in our in-flight magazine , starting to get a little annoyed now, just shut your pie hole, i am nervous flyer.
Now we have some old dear walking through the cabin just short of shouting, "in-flight purchases", so now we are a good bit through flight and i cant wait to get of this money making train ( i know its a plane ), what could possibly happen now.

"Ladies and gentlemen, do you like to see starving children suffer pain and die, easy jet have teamed up with unicef to eradicate suffering and pain for children, you can help by donating as we come through the cabin", they did run through a lot statistics about children's ages, and how many die every minute, and how easy jet is leading the charge to stop this.

Here comes the old dear with her plastic see through begging bag, waving it in front of peoples faces, "donations for starving children", i will be honest it was not that i was annoyed here but it was making me feel slightly uncomfortable now, but i suppose that's the idea.

Thank god we are taxiing its over, not yet, as we are taxiing in, slower than ever, of course we are reminded that we must not use our mobile phones (as the plane will blow up of course), then we subjected to the special offers that easy jet has so selflessly arranged, of course they wont get anything from the discount that we get from national car rental, if we mention easy jet, or the local coffee shop in the terminal.

I will be honest i was mentally exhausted from trying to defy the easy jet selling band wagon, but i did resist and my wallet is all the better for it.

Quick run for the door

Sales men and woman, those blood sucking leaches

Pressure, pressure, pressure.

For me this epitomises sales and those individuals, it is just non stop, i truly believe their moto is, push, push and push somemore.



Do they even know what the word no means, or have they been told in their training thats it just an opening for more selling.

Perhaps i am a little old school but i thought its about buiding relationships with your clients, even if that means not selling something this time.
I know that we are in a finacially troubling situation in the uk, but does not morals and being kind to fellow man, play a part of who we are as individuals.

How many times have we been on the phone with say a phone, gas or double glazing company, if this is not familiar correct me, the call normally starts with them asking to speak to say for example Mr Gullable.

Salesman: Hello can i speak to Mr Gullable

Mr G: speaking

SM: How are you? (very friendly like they know you)

Mr G: fine (trying to work out who this is)

SM: What sort of day you had?

Mr G: Good so far. (now the penny is starting to drop)

SM: What did you get up to at the weekend?

Mr G: Sorry can i ask who is this?

SM: My name is Alfred (when he is clearly from india and his name more than likely has 23 letters in it)


Now i need to state from the start that i dont have a problem with callers from India, i am all for saving companies money but not at the expense of customers or potential customers.

The salesman will now go into some sort of rant something along these lines:


SM: Can i ask sir how would you like me to save you 25% on your gas and elec bill

Mr G: I am fine, i am happy with my supply.

SM: You are happy to pay more, this will only take a minute, who is your supply with?

Mr G: EON ( may not be this is just an example )

SM: Oh i see, did you know Eon are about to put up there prices by 30%, it is all secret at the moment but it will be in the news soon, now i can save you 25% before the 30% increase, can i take some details?

Mr G: No i am happy and will think about it.

SM: What is there to think about, i will save you money, do you have direct debit details handy?

I could go on but basically it continues like this, till they wear you down or you kill yourself, it is almost like they have a mental switch that when you try and close the call, for them this is an opening to be more agressive and pushy.

When i have time i love to ask them if they can wait a minute, which they are happy to do for some reason, i put them on hold or pop my phone down and will go make a cup of tea, perhaps even some toast, after about 5 minutes or more i will come back, and low and behold they dont give up they are still there.

Leaches the lot of them, blood sucking leaches, i think i would rather speak to a mormon than a sales person (better keep it pc).

I might produce a "How to get rid of  salesperson, for dummies" book, i reckon it would be a best seller.

Peace to everyone, except salespeople that is, blood sucking leaches.

Calm your mind and make friends

Something i have always struggled with is our inability to find peace within ourselves, everyone strives for it but few seem to find it.
WHY?

What is that makes it so difficult to find inner peace or be able to calm our minds and bodies, surely it cant be that difficult.
Perhaps it is, can we find true peace in todays society what with social networking, bbming (not a real word i am sure), texting, tweeting, liking, sharing, +1ing (another fake word), tumbling and the rest the list seems endless.

If we were to be honest with ourselves do we need all these things in our life, i know what your saying but how do I keep in touch with friends and family, what happened to paper and pen or a phone call?
Yes it does make it easier and sharing photos and funny videos from around the globe is great, and i would not want to stiffle that.

But is there a bigger picture here, is our inability to switch of our minds and focus on who we are the problem, are we constantly looking for ways to satisfy our cravings or need for acceptance, is this a particulary western culture that has festered or is it a worldwide problem?

Consider the UK and Japan, in the Uk over 77% of homes in 2011 had intenet access, consider my household we have 3 pc's, 1 Playstation and 4 mobile phones all capable of internet access, do we need all this?
Consider Japan, in 2010 only 56% of the population were accessing sns (social networking sites), i couldnt find stats for 2011 but still a massive difference.

The big question here is i suppose is this what is preventing us from find joy/peace, inner calm whatever you want to call it?
How can it?

Think about it though were you a shy kid in school, now i am thinking about back before sns or the mass popularity of it, how did you overcome this, communication, personal communication not sitting typing or texting but rather to ingage with people, activate that part of the brain that gives us that self satisfaction, that friendship that can only come from speaking to someone face to face.

I dont think it is our nature anymore to wanrt to speak face to face anymore, I do think this is partly down to sns, to want to form real relationships, to want to communicate on a personal level. Can you imagine Jesus trying to feed the 5,000 "just a minute i need to check in", or " better setup a event for this so peeps know where i am", i dont think so.

But why are other culutures different why does it not effect everyone the same way, why would individuals risk their lives for others, people they dont even know, the example i am thinking of is during the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant disaster, these workmen went in and attempted to clean up the radiation so as to prevent complete meltdown, the names of these workmen, unknown - they did not feel a need to publicise who they were or plaster it all over FB, Twitter, google+ you get the idea.

They dont need 1000 followers liking them to feel joy or peace in what they did, they just did it for the love of mankind.
The japanesse seemd to have this knack for always have a bright positive attitude, a can do manner and willingness to help attitude, if a teacher does not turn up for class then the kids will take the class, if you get caught in the rain with no coat a shop owner will lend you his umbrella and trust you will bring it back.

Is it not time we started to devleop this same attitude?

How?



Olympic dreams up in smoke

Yes i know we are only just into the Olympic's, and i am perhaps being slightly premature (not that i have been accused of that before), but i am slightly concerned that we are not even going to get 10 medals.

So far we have failed in most things, massive disappointment in diving (still time Tom), Badminton cant believe Imogen and Chris fell so soon, Susan did well in the Badminton mind you just out played at the end, well done to Zara and to our male gymnasts, slight over reaction to getting bronze in my opinion, it aint gold you know, huge shout out to woman's football team amazing performance tonight against the Brazilians.

I have said before and i will say again we need to start training earlier, look at the Chinese they are practically training their kids from the womb, some moan and say this is not right and that the children lose out on their childhood, and then go on to complain we dont win anything.
You cant have everything we either want to win, or we like to complain about not winning, so what will it be?

We have a huge opportunity when the Olympics finishes, the facilities that will be there for kids will be second to only USA or China, so lets stop this trend and defeatists attitude.

At the Badminton Scotland conference this year in Largs Inverclyde, this was one of the key issues that was raised.

What they would like to do (subject to funding of course) is to start training our youngsters earlier, I think 5yr's was mentioned, we want to drill in the basic skills at this age, until such a time as these skills become as natural as breathing.

The only problem with this is changing parent and coaches belief in the system, will performing the same drill 4-5 days a week be fun, probably not, will it produce champions in years to come, YES, and with that in mind will the parents who drive the little angels to their training, be able to keep up with this schedule, difficult yes, near impossible more than likely.

However difficult this is going to be we need to get everyone to sign up to this, we need a commitment from everyone to change, how though?

Major issues is that this will cost money, unlike the Chinese and Americans we are not financially in a position to  compete.

So must we compete with a our stiff upper British lip, do we fight to the bitter end and say no we are better than this.
Well i think we are better than this, i think we can compete, and i am getting sick of people saying "look at the Chinese they are amazing, but i wouldn't want my kid to train like that". Well neither would i, but what are you parents doing, are you instilling a winners attitude, or a do your best and that is good enough.
Its not good enough, its about time we fight the battles we can win, not in our wallets but in our mind, if you believe you can win, then you can win.

Do you believe you can win?